Saturday, September 10, 2011

The More You Know

       Something sinister has taken hold of the male youth of today. You can see it in the way they walk. You can see it in the way they hold themselves. It cannot be blamed strictly on them. They know not that what they are doing is wrong. Clearly their parents, teachers, older brothers, and indeed, society itself has failed to teach them this lesson. It is clear that young men no longer know how purchase, and subsequently wear, pants that fit correctly.
       It's easy to imagine how this all got started. One bad apple, so they say, can ruin the whole bunch. All it would take is one boys parents assuming he could figure it out for himself. After all, when you have all the worries of being a parent weighing down upon you like a metaphorical anvil of responsibility, it must surely be easy to forget to teach your child about pants. I stand here now to tell you, however, that you must not forget.
       Too many young men of today are out there, in public, in full view of any and all passerby, wearing pants that are only “on” in the loosest sense of the word. Literally, the loosest. Their pants back pockets very nearly scrape the sidewalk as they waddle about. We look down upon these young men, labeling them hoodlums, and delinquents. But I ask you, how much could you contribute to society if you were constantly having to worry about your pants falling off?
       On the other end of the spectrum, there are the skinny jeans. Boys, hear me now. Unless your legs are at least as thin as your arms, do not wear skinny jeans. If your legs are that thin, still don't wear skinny jeans. Furthermore, those finding themselves in the second category may want to consider eating more. Leave the skinny jeans for the girls, you are men. Men. You can still wear v-necks, and scarves, and sweater-vests, and so much more. Just please, for your own sake, and for the sake of those who do not wish to see your dangly bits in such vivid detail, hang up the skinny jeans.
       Please, if you know a young man suffering from a lack of knowledge in this area, enlighten him. His parents may have failed to teach him this lesson, but you don't have to. You could be his savior, and in doing so, become the savior of us all.

13 comments:

  1. lol, hilarious stuff. Skinny jeans for the FAIL. Kids these days...

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  2. SKINNY JEANS ARE DESTROYING OUR SOCIETY!

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  3. Well you pretty much wrote my take on skinny jeans in your post. Why? Why skinny jeans? I don't even...

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  4. great readingstuff, and your blog is very stylish,
    - follow :)

    you gonna learn me doing such a good blog, some day :)

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  5. Okay, this was hilarious, do you mind if I troll young facebook go-ers with this? ;D

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  6. You have no idea how many times I've seen this. The guys have jeans SKINNIER than the ones I wear! D:

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  7. I look good in skinny jeans though! =(

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  8. I agree, used to wear skinny jeans months ago and when I'm in a hurry in the morning and cant find a belt, my pants are pretty low yeah, but still, I agree

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  9. Agreed, skinny jeans look ridiculous.

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  10. I don't like skinny jeans either.

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